Skinny and unhealthy

Sexy and strong

I always thought that I were just skinny, everything else in my life would be perfect.

I would make more money, have an A-list relationship, everyone would like me, I would look a magazine cover and be the happiest girl in the world.

Well let me tell you how that worked out.

The picture you see on the top was the skinniest I’d ever been. I couldn’t believe that I could walk around finally and feel like a normal person in the world (stupid, right?). I was rocking a size small, doing marathon sized workouts every day and eating at most six hundred calories a day. I was starving. I was on the verge of tears (but it’s okay because it was just because I was tired), I couldn’t sleep because I was so insanely hungry, I lived and died by the scale number – sometimes weighing in multiple times a day, only eating if I felt like the daily loss was big enough.

Wow, if that doesn’t look like happiness to you, I don’t know what does?

I hated my life. I liked my body, but I hated my life, and needless to say, that was evident in my change of personality.

I can also say that same personality change was noticeable when I packed the weight back on and found myself unhealthy on the other side of things.

How did I find balance?

Well, first things first, my beautiful friend and life coach Carey tried for years to get me to ditch the scale. My response was always, “well how will I know what I am?”

My value was in my number. My number! My number was the only thing I used to define me!

Your number and my number mean nothing. It is your relationship to gravity.

It took me about four years to finally do it, but I ditched the scale and hold my value to a remarkable standard of character, kindness, and happiness.

I also started listening to my body. I started to incorporate foods I actually wanted and enjoyed them. I eat cake, pizza, and tacos, as much as I eat quinoa, spinach and fish. I don’t schedule it out, I listen to what my body tells me in the moment. I know that if I binge there will be an emotional result in my future so I eat until I’ve satisfied my cravings and move on.

It’s okay to talk about our food, relationships, or just general life issues openly because once we do that, the right support system will gravitate your way. You will realize that you’re not alone in any of these issues because most of us struggle in silence.

As some of you know, I attend a program that makes me account for my number ever week.

I ask not to know it. I don’t look at my statistical information. I use my peers as my support when I feel like I’d rather not eat that day or purge a binge that never actually happened.

I now use my knowledge of what it feels like to have lived a life of food disorders to help others. I love it. I now realize that all those life lessons were thrown my way with a purpose.

My focused has shifted from skinny to sexy and sexy is not a number for me.

Sexy is healthy, strong, confident, kind, grateful and so much more.

Don’t forget, if you don’t like kale, don’t eat it, and if you want the slice of chocolate cake eat it somewhere where you can savor every last bite (not over the kitchen sink).

Happy Transformation Tuesday!

Feeling sexy at any size may SEEM like it has its challenges, but there are a few simple rules to help smooth out the process.

Fist Rule:

Never dress to impress anyone else! You have to feel sexy and empowered on your own and if you're worried about getting someone else's attention based on the clothes you wear, you'll never know what it feels like to feel absolutely unstoppable.

Second Rule:

Dress for the body you have right now- NOT the body you used to have and NOT the body you want to have. Make sure that the clothes you have fit and feel comfortable. That dress you're dying to squeeze back into? Chuck it in the fuck it bucket. You don't need to put that pressure on yourself. Keeping those "fat pants" to remember the days you never want to get back to? Ditch them. We are hard enough on ourselves every day. We don't need a dress three sizes too small or pants that we now swim in to be a constant reminder of bad body image.

Third Rule:

Who cares about size. If you find something you like on the rack, bring in ALL the sizes. Don't look at the tags when you try them on and pick the one that fits your body the best. Between my jeans, dresses, workout clothes, I wear about six different sizes at one time. Who cares. What matters is that it fits and you feel amazing.

Fourth Rule:

Stay in your expense lane! If it is going to break the bank and make you stress, don't do it. If it is a budget friendly find then take the extra cash and get an iced coffee. Some of my most amazing outfits are the least expensive in my closet and the compliments are endless.

DON'T FORGET, sexy and confidence come from within your head and your heart. Rock what you're wearing, may it be a sexy dinner date outfit, ripped jeans and white T, or (in my current state) the coziest joggers and a tank top. It is most important to feel comfortable, smile, and enjoy the moment that you're in and the clothes you wear while you're in it!

Happy Friday, Love G

Let's just start by saying, when I cook (or in this case assemble), I don't measure, I taste... baking is a whole different story, but I'll do my best!

Summer Grain Salad with Lemon Herb Dressing

2c of any cooked grain of choice- I used a mix of brown rice and red quinoa- you can find these premade pretty easily but rule of thumb is 2/1 water to grain, bring to a boil and then simmer, covered for 20 min and the fluff with a fork

1c garbanzo beans, chopped tomatoes, chopped cucumber

1/2c walnuts, feta, chopped shallots

This recipe is really subjective to taste, adding some yellow peppers or sprouts would be AMAZING- so add whatever vegetable you'd like.

Instructions: Put it all in a bowl... easy peasy lemon squeezy (you'll need that lemon juice)

Lemon Herb Dressing

2T Extra Virgin olive oil

4T fresh lemon juice

1tsp fresh basil

1tsp fresh tarragon

1tsp fresh dill

salt and pepper to taste

stir with a fork, pour over your grain salad

 and toss!

Best served chilled... an hour in the fridge will do the trick!

Great as a side dish, a main dish, or for breakfast with a friend egg!

Keep it simple and snack your way through this one because every ingredient is clean and whole!

Enjoy!

Be impeccable with your words because they will change your future.

As much as we try to apologize, as much as we try to back pedal, the words we speak imprint on the people we speak them to. That also rings true for the words we speak to ourselves.

If your best friend showed up to the beach wearing a bikini would you say things like, “I can’t believe you’re wearing that? Look at your stretch marks! Your thighs are huge!”

Well you could, but I guarantee they won’t be your friend for long, but I’m willing to bet that you don’t. You accept them for the body they live in. So why don't you do it for yourself?

I spent years avoiding things like bathing suits, social gatherings, and pictures because I couldn’t accept the skin I was in. It’s so much easier to overlook the negative things we say to ourselves versus the negative things people say about us even though it should be our feelings that matter the most.

For a long time I was hung up on the things people would say to me or about me. I have had comments made about the food I was eating, the clothes I was wearing, and my body by not only people I knew, but by absolute strangers (and that hurt more, you don’t even know me but you feel entitled to make a negative comment about my body???). I hung onto those words for years. Meanwhile, I could say those same things about myself on the regular and overlook it. No one ever bullied me worse than I bullied myself.

Messed up, right? Yep, until I made a conscious effort to turn that around and now the positivity just flows and the self-love feels glorious.

Try looking in the mirror and talking to yourself as though you were talking to someone who you truly care about. You will find a much kinder, gentler, and accepting person in the reflection.

You’re nobody till somebody loves you? Take a hike Dean Martin.

Once you learn to love yourself, you become unstoppable, you become bulletproof, you become beautiful.

Happy Motivational Monday!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, 'damn, I look as sexy as chocolate cake."

No? Well you should, and here's why.

Let's start from the beginning, in a nutshell of course.

I have struggled with negative body image, self destructive eating disorders, and a general hatred for everything down to my eye color for as long as I can remember.  I have put my physical and emotional health at risk by trying to fit my square peg into the world's round hole.

Then life started the change. I started to change. I woke up one day and was just done. I was done conforming to the image I thought I needed to be. I started building the life that I truly deserve to be happy. Ever since that day my life has been different. 

Where did I find myself? Moving home with my parents at thirty-four years old with my two kids and my dog. I am an only child and a first generation American on my father's side. Just picture it, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Italian style. Yep, that's my life. And I've never been happier.

It's funny how a little thing like happiness can change a big thing like life.

Ever since I changed my mindset, all of my stars have started to align. 

Mind you, I have moments when I let fear of the unknown creep back in, but my amazing Vibe Tribe (the best friends on the planet) are always there to get me through and they empower me to do the same for others. 

Let's get back to the body part, since that's what got this party started.

I started working with a health coach (who is now one of my best friends) about five years ago. Yes, it took four years and six months for it to really sink in, but that's okay because I had to get there on my own terms. 

I went from waking up every day, staring in the mirror and picking my body apart, to waking up every day, staring into the mirror amazed at what my strong, curvy, beautiful body is able to accomplish. 

That doesn't just come from food and exercise though. That comes from general happiness on all fronts and that is what this blog is all about. 

It's about finding your sexy, in your soul, your body, and your chocolate cake. 

Welcome!