As women, we spend countless amounts of time in our lives focusing on the things about ourselves that we aren’t happy with. We stand in the mirror and get lost in the trans of our gaze. We see stretch marks and round bellies where we once carried our children, wrinkles and lines on our face that we developed from years of smiling and laughing, and a tint of shimmery gray around our hairline indicative of the wisdom that we have gained when simple moments turned into not so easy learning experiences.

Over the last few weeks I have been reaching out to women in my life who I see as beautiful in every way and asked them a very simple question knowing well enough that the answer would take thought, heart, possibly tears, and definitely soul searching. I thought that I would escape having to deep think myself, but someone turned the question around on me, so my answer is in there as well, at the end.

What quality about who you are makes you feel beautiful? I put no timeline on how long they were given to respond, and some took longer than others. My gut tells me that if I asked for a list of qualities they didn’t like, the response would be nothing short of immediate, but that was not the case. I wanted them to dig deep and the responses were astonishing.

I hope you enjoy reading what these incredible women had to say as much as I did…

What quality about who you are makes you feel beautiful?

Susan V.- My willingness to give to people. I am a giver not a taker and people who are giving are the most beautiful.

Andonia D. – I have always felt that my nature to be loving and caring has carried me through the times when my weight was scary high. I dip into the ways which I have helped people and affected their lives when I feel rejected or judged.

Jodi P.- My ability to connect with anyone. Quality is different from features, so I pick that.

Amanda H.- Empathy for people when I’m working with people. I see how much it can help that people feel listened to.

Marie B.- I’m pretty laid back and I try to create an environment that is nurturing for others. I love Jesus yet I don’t push Him on anyone. It is the Jesus in me, however, that others are drawn to. That is true beauty and love. I am grateful God gave me self confidence and an unconditional love for self and others. I am blessed.

Lisa N.- Having been through a lot myself, I am very sensitive and realize everyone is fighting their own battle. I have compassion and a desire to help and do good for others. I cry when I see people’s dreams come true and like to see people happy and feeling good; it’s infectious and makes me filled with hope and hope makes me feel beautiful.

Sandy S.- My heart, my loyalty, my empathy. I always appreciate my Irish eyes which have been passed down through generations. I love with every ounce I have left in me. I am loyal and 100% real and true but it is never reciprocated. I am empathetic not by choice, but it is who I am and it overcomes me. I love more and it makes me more loyal; huts me a ton because I take on emotions around me.

Alison- My nurturing instincts and my heart, how I always care about people who are close to me and love doing things for them.

Amy R.- I feel like being genuine makes me feel beautiful. No time for nonsense.

Courtney R.- I think we tend to lean towards outward appearance when we think of being beautiful, but if I had to say another attribute of how I feel beauty in my mind it would be how I think I make others feel and what I do to give back or help others… I’d rather have a beautiful and giving soul over physical beauty any day of the week.

Maggie- Being a mother, being a woman, a nurse. Being pansexual; polyamorous. Being Puerto Rican and bilingual. I can sing; I am relatively funny.

Kristen V- My slamming personality. I’m just not afraid to live unapologetically. 100% myself after years of quieting my personality and dimming my light to make others more comfortable. I’m loud… I’m super fun… I’m hilarious… and I’m not sorry.

Olivia- My bubbly personality. Pretty much how I love to be happy and make people laugh.

Grace T.- My sense of humor.

Julia- What makes me feel beautiful is being with people I love, laughing and allowing myself to just be in the present moment. Whenever I’m stressing about the past or future it robs me from the ability to appreciate what is right in front of me. When I can recognize life is beautiful, I feel beautiful.  

Allison N.- My willingness to always come to someone’s aid and help with something (some people think I’m crazy).

Lisa B.- I don’t sugar coat my brutal honesty and sarcasm.

Brittany C. - My silly, goofy, funny personality.

And lastly, thinking really hard about myself, I would have to say, what makes me feel most beautiful is my tenacious spirit; I give of myself unconditionally. If I am invested in something or someone it is with my whole heart. I look only for the good and work hard to make sure that I am putting in all I have, to give and that it is genuine and true. I love to see others smile and hear them laugh. I love to provide a space and time for people to be their authentic selves. Holding doors, paying for a stranger’s coffee, bringing people together, and leaving my footprint on the world truly feels like my purpose. When I stand back in the corner, silently, and watch everything unfold, that is when I truly feel the most beautiful.

I wish everyone the happiest of Thanksgivings. Don’t forget to be thankful for yourself and to eat that fourth piece of pie!

I still see that fat girl.

Last week I had a conversation with one of my closest girlfriends. She told me that she could not wait to share her accomplishments with me. She has lost inches and pounds and has put her heart and soul into setting goals and crushing them.

I was overjoyed for HER joy, but then she said something that we all have thought when going through a body change. “I just don’t see it. I still see the fat girl.”

I couldn’t reprimand her. I couldn’t get annoyed. I’ve been there. So many of us have.

Looking in the mirror and adjusting what we see is the most difficult part of change. We have a certain image imprinted in our brains of what we think we see rather than what’s right in front of us. We have spent years formulating an opinion of our physical self.

Although we may never be able to completely reverse our mental reflection, we definitely can alter it.

We can adjust our harsh opinions of ourselves.

Instead of getting in front of the mirror and picking at the parts of our bodies that we hate the most, why not make it our mission to fall in love with the things about us that make us the incredible humans that we are.

Make a list of all the things we find happiness in. Smile ourselves, pick out a great outfit, a swanky piece of jewelry, anything that will make our vibe shine.

We are all allowed moments of critique, that will always be a thing, but how about we make it our mission to turn it around faster than before?

Find love, find peace, and spread body positivity not only to each other, but to ourselves as well.

Does it make you feel like a hypocrite when you struggle to practice what you preach?

I’ve learned throughout my journey (I don’t call it recovery because I don’t personally feel like we ever truly recover from self-abusive tendencies, I believe that we learn the tools to channel our triggers in a different direction) that setbacks will happen.

It’s comfortable and easy to go back to our old habits, our old ways. Who wants that new pair of stiff shoes that squeeze your toes and give you heel blisters when you can slip your feet into that nice cozy pair of old shoes when you just need comfort?

It’s sad to say but when we take that drug, throw back that drink or purge into the toilet, it’s almost like saying, “hello old friend, I’ve missed you.” It is the easiest way to take whatever it may be, frustration, lack of control, sadness, anger, and soothe that pain.

When it comes to me, I’ve always turned to food restriction. Its not scary. It doesn’t hurt. I feel no hunger pains, it’s calming. It’s this feeling of yes, I can control this. I can figure this one out.  

I’m writing this blog almost two days in. I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to eat. I don’t have the desire to force my body to have to work to digest anything. It has nothing to do with how my jeans fit or what my body looks like with no clothes on. It has nothing to do with a number on the scale (I don’t do that shit anyway) or the size of my thighs. It’s emotional.

I woke up this morning feeling like that hypocrite. I was supposed to write a blog on a topic that I find so extremely important (I promise, that’s next on the list), I talked my friend through a binge/purge last night and expressed the importance on why she didn’t need to take that road, but here I am. As defiant as ever, spiteful towards only myself.

I did exactly what I tell everyone else to do and I reached out. I sent an SOS to my lifeline and within minutes I was on the phone letting it all flow. I told her how I couldn’t believe that I would even go down this route again especially since I make it my life’s efforts to throw everyone I know the rope to help pull themselves back to safety. She reminded me that it’s okay to have a setback. Its okay to use my struggle to help other people and it’s okay to take the rest of my life to work on it.

It’s easier for me now to recognize that my actions are only hurting and not helping. I have a faster turn around than I used to. What was then weeks before I would let go of the death grip I had on food restriction, is now days. I know what I need to do to bounce back, but I can honestly say it can’t be forced. It will be on my terms, when I am ready. The fork to the mouth is not the hardest part though. The hardest part is the work that absolutely must be done before I can move onwards and upwards. It is a little bit of talking it out, a little bit of working out a plan, and a whole lot of soul searching.  

People ask me all the time why I do what I do. The easiest answer is “because food is love,” but there is so much more to it than that. Food tells us a story rich in history and for me, it is reminiscent of time when life was simple. Food can be a way we travel back to memories of our childhood, special events and sometimes all it takes is one bite to loosen up something within us that enchants our soul.

Growing up a “first gen” kid comes with stories you couldn’t make up if you tried. Funny moments of conversations getting lost in translation, watching the gentle juggle of families trying to balance “old world” traditions with “new world” style. Harnessing the culture that was left behind and building a life in the land of opportunity.

I never grew up dunking Oreos in my milk. I don’t even think I knew what an Oreo was until I saw the infamous “twist, lick, and dunk,” commercial on TV. My grandparents would take an out of the way ride to the Italian imports store to buy things like Nutella, Aranciata, and Stella Doro cookies, which at the time could not be found in a regular grocery store.

 The “S” cookies were always my favorite. I loved going on a scavenger hunt through the cabinets to find these simple, yet delicious confections and dunk them, knuckles deep into a glass of cold milk, and once I got older, into a hot espresso after Sunday dinner.

Opening the oven today and smelling those beautiful cookies reminded me of my grandmother. Her “perfume” consisted of scents of lemon zest, vanilla, almond, and anise. These cookies are my memories. They are my laughter, my tears, my skinned knees, and my elementary school plays. They are my warm hugs, by back seat road trips, and my favorite childhood songs. They are my home.

So why do I do what I do? Because how magical is it that a little sugar, some flour, eggs, and a swirl of a wooden spoon could be such a reminder of so much love.

"S" Cookie Recipe

For two dozen...

4 Eggs plus 1 for wash

1 1/2 Cups Sugar

Zest of 1-2 Lemons (to taste)

1 Teaspoon Vanilla

3/4 Cups Olive Oil

4 Cups Flour

2 Teaspoons Baking Powder

Preheat oven to 375.

Mix flour and baking powder and leave to the side.

In a separate bowl whisk together eggs, sugar, lemon zest, vanilla, and oil until well combined. Slowly fold in flour and baking powder, I do this in three stages. Your dough will be smooth and have a stiff texture but may still stick to your hands. (My personal tip, add a little oil to your hands for rolling and shaping).

Line your cookie sheet with foil. Start with a small handful of dough and roll into snake shape and form and "S" before placing onto the foil. Leave about an inch between each cookie as they will expand as they bake. 

Bake 18-20 minutes or until golden brown. 

If you want to ice them, use that lemon that you zested and squeeze about 2 tablespoons of juice and combine with 1/2 Cup of confectioners sugar and whisk until smooth. Dunk cookies or brush on the icing. Don't be afraid to make them pretty with sprinkles or colored sugar. 

I’ve been asked recently to write a blog post about the cost of buying healthy, whole foods versus processed or fast foods and I was shocked by the research that I found that it’s actually not that expensive on a day to day basis, but like anything else it will add up.

On a daily basis, a 2,000 calorie diet, broken down to price per calorie actually only averages $1.50 a day but for a family of four, that results in an increase of about $2,000 per year. That seems like a lot, I know, but look at the things we spend $1.50 on every day without hesitation- most drive-thru cups of coffee are at least $2.00 per cup.

I personally find that the biggest bang to my wallet is when I have to “double cook.”

Are my children going to eat my roasted vegetable quinoa salad, or stuffed eggplant? Probably not. Actually, that’s definitely a hard no. In a dream world maybe, and yes there are probably meals that will meet in the middle and we can all enjoy, but those are few and far between.

What seems to help out a lot is figuring out the best places to shop. The big-name grocery stores could carry hefty price tags but they also run more sales than stores like Super Walmart or Target. Smaller stores that require a little elbow grease like Aldi keep shopping prices low with their own store brand named items. They keep their employee costs down by having their shoppers bag their own groceries and ensure the customer return of their carts since you used a quarter to use one in the first place.

Also, my biggest tip would be to buy in season. You’re not going to buy a watermelon, in Connecticut, in October… well you can, I did, and it cost me $9.00 versus in July when they were $5.99. Also, my July watermelon was red and sweet, and my October watermelon was barely pink and resembled the taste of a cucumber. Why? Because it wasn’t in season.  Follow what’s fresh, look for corn, zucchini, plums and berries during the warmer months- apples, root vegetables, and winter squashes going into the colder months. Again, this is subjective to where you live.

Food prepping and meal sharing is always a good idea as well and can be a ton of fun.  Gather a small group of your friends, everyone pick a dish to cook for the week. Pack up enough for each of them to get one serving per family member and swap them! It’s like those chain letters from back in the 90s but with meals. Four friends means you and your family get five meals for the week since you’re included with your own meal.

I personally spend more money on groceries than I do on anything else and sometimes I just get annoyed, but there are ways to make it easier. It is going to take work, time, and a little creativity, but where there’s a will there’s way!

When your body gets to your mind, self-love is tough to find.

We all have days that are harder than others. We stare in the mirror picking apart our bodies, change our clothes multiple times before leaving the house, think the most dreadful thoughts about ourselves that we wouldn’t dare speak out loud to our worst enemy. Remember how we’ve discussed that we are more than a number on a scale, we are also more than the “physical imperfections” we see in the mirror, although when we take in all of the things that make us amazing, those “physical imperfections” aren’t really imperfect at all.

Have you ever avoided things like social events, family outings, or even intimacy with your partner? I have. It all comes at a time when I can’t seem to find the love and appreciation for myself that I deserve, and that other people see in me. When I really take a big step back and evaluate my “why” the answer is always the same.

I get lost and I just don’t feel important. I’m willing to bet that when most of us push ourselves to the side, it’s for the same reason.

I get lost in the shuffle of a new school year or too many work projects or even just the mundane routine of everyday life. I am a natural born care giver and that comes with its own set of self-care rules. I tend to live by “well, if everyone else is taken care of and everyone else is happy, I am too,” but in all reality, that is just not always enough.

I’ve learned along the way that it is okay to ask for help and that help comes in many different forms.

Maybe the housework is overwhelming. It’s okay to ask your kids to fold some towels or help with dinner. Maybe you’re foregoing a little bit of fresh air or some quiet time because you’re always rushing home to meet your child off the bus or to sit behind a thousand and one cars in the pick-up line. Ask another mom friend to take a day when she gets the kids and another day when you get them. Help each other out, it takes a village, remember? Maybe what you need is a special night out with your partner or friends. A night to dress in any way that makes you feel like a beautiful human and not a yoga pant wearing coffee hound and enjoy a nice meal and some conversation that doesn’t sound like the background noise of the Disney channel.

This is my “why” and it may not be yours but most importantly, figure out what that is and then start to plan to fix it.

First make a list of things about yourself that you love. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but trust me, you’ll shock yourself. Someone asked me to do this about six months ago when I was in a pretty low spot and I’m pretty sure that not only did I have a few choice words for them on the phone, I flat out refused. I remember I went and laid on my bed, grumbled about how there would only be like, two things I could think of, and fell asleep. When I woke up, I decided to give it a shot. A real shot. I was so skeptical that I would think of anything of value that I wouldn’t even give this list its own piece of paper- I used the back of my electric bill envelope.

Well about forty-five minutes later, I was flipping that envelope in every direction trying to find more room. I thought of about sixty things I loved about me from finding joy in things like Christmas lights to holding tight to traditions that have been passed to me from my grandparents. Most importantly it helped me to remember that taking care of myself is important because I am important.

So, if you feel lost, it’s okay to take a day to aimlessly wander around, but after that, dig deep and figure out what it is that you need. Reach out to a friend, make that list, find your importance and make a plan to bring self-love back to your life.

Nothing feels more like Fall than walking around the apple orchard, picking baskets of all different varieties of apples and coming home to make a hot and steaming apple dessert.

Although I would never refuse any slice of apple pie to come my way, I make a horrible apple pie. It looks beautiful, like the cover of Martha Stewart’s Living magazine, but cut it open and I have hard crunchy apple soup. It’s just never been my thing.

Apple crisp though, now that’s a different story. Everyone around my table doesn’t even wait for it to cool. They scoop spoonfulls of piping hot apple crisp into their mouths, but I like to cool mine off with a scoop of really creamy vanilla ice cream.

I start out by measuring my servings by using one apple per person so in this case, five people, five apples, which should leave you a little for breakfast the next day unless you’re me and then you’ll have it for a late night snack.

                                    Walnut Oat Apple Crisp

                                    For the Apples:

                                5 Gala Apples, skinned and cut into cubes

                                4 Tablespoons of butter

                                5 Heaping Tablespoons of brown sugar, light or dark

                                1 Tablespoon of Cinnamon

                                Mix all together and put into a casserole dish

                                For the Walnut Oat Crumb:

                                2 Cups of old fashioned oats

                                1 Cup of brown sugar, light or dark

                                1 Cup of chopped walnuts

                                1 Tablespoon of cinnamon

                                1 Tablespoon of flour

                                1 Stick of cold butter, cubed

Use a pastry cutter to cut the butter into the mixture, or a fork if you don’t have one, but the easiest way is to pulse in a food processor.

Spread evenly over the apples and bake for 30 minutes on 350 degrees. Top with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, or just eat it right from the casserole dish with the serving spoon… no judgment here!

Enjoy!

If it does not serve you let it go, even if it’s hard.

How many of us have turned to self-abusive tendencies to deal with stress? Maybe we turn to things like over/under eating or exercising, loss of sleep, or another bad habit to keep our mind off the things that are hurting us, or to soothe the pain of the things we choose to repress.

Our emotional self begins to suffer which affects our physical self. We start to suffer from exhaustion, our skin breaks out, we gain/lose weight, we get jittery or irritable. We feel like we are losing control which makes us try to micromanage other aspects of our life.

Although it’s hard, the best thing we can do is build our best self by evaluating what separates the healthy from the unhealthy in our lives, and how we choose to respond.

Personally speaking, whenever I have dealt with situations that I felt were out of my control I turned to abusing my body with food restriction, purging, or over exercising.

I would spend days at a time, which turned to weeks, not eating. Punishing myself for a situation I didn’t want to deal with. It was easier to deal with the pain of an empty stomach or to kneel in front of the toilet and vomit up everything I ate than to deal with what was really hurting me. When I had a stressful situation my body shut down, I lost my feeling of hunger and I could stay awake for days at a time because that’s what I trained my body to do.

When we are in toxic friendships/relationships/situations, we will never be able to give ourselves what we need the most which is respect, admiration, and love.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to learn healthy coping skills and how to take back my life. Unfortunately, some of the damage I’ve done has had lingering effects. I have hurt up my metabolism and suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, however, I work on both of those to the best of my ability.

The best thing I could have done was to link up to a support system. I met other people like me and we leaned on one another to get us through the hard times. Using my past situation to help others healed me the most. I have never been in a better place than I am now.

I have recently been asked to form a support group of women in my town who face the same sorts of struggles every day. I feel honored every time someone reaches out and asks for help because taking that first step is scary.

I’ve worked a lot on body acceptance and positive body image. Of course, we all have our moody moments, but that’s life and we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.

What I’ve learned is that surrounding myself with the most genuine of people and doing the things that bring me the most joy has been the key. I cannot contain the happiness and then the rest of the self-care chips fall into place.

So, get out there today, take a look at life, take the things that aren’t serving you and “chuck it in the fuck-it bucket,” because in the end you goal is to build a happier and healthier you.

You have to transform today… it’s Tuesday, duh!

If you want to see someone, tell them. If you miss them, tell them. If they make you smile, tell them.

I always thought that the only way I could feel accomplished in anything I do is if I go at it alone. If I succeed with no one’s help or support, it would make me stronger.

Well, I was way wrong. You know what it made me? Lonely.

The importance of surrounding yourself with a strong Vibe Tribe is so important. We learn that none of our life issues are actually as scary as they seem when we have someone to hold our hand through the storm, and when we emerge, the feeling of strength is unparalleled. 

Call or text someone you care about today. Share a funny story, an old memory, or make a plan for coffee. 

Send a smile out to the world today, we need more of those.

Happy Monday!

There is so much more to life than being on a diet.

Have you ever gone to a picnic during the summer while on a “diet” and spent more time calculating numbers, scoping out the food options, and building complete anxiety over the fact that everything has mayonnaise and you can’t eat fucking mayonnaise because it’s too high in calories???

I have. I have done this at many events. I have foregone the cake or the cookie and not in a way that made me feel triumphant in my defeat of “bad choices,” but in a way that I felt like I was denying myself something I would really enjoy.

I have left events, been moody or antisocial, because my food anxiety (or if I gave in to the chocolate trifle layered with chocolate cake, chocolate pudding, whipped cream and crushed candy bars)  my food guilt has been too much to handle.

Before I learned that my whole body works best by being mindful and balanced, I tortured myself with food guilt.

I have spent so many nights either unable to sleep or waking up in the middle of the night over food guilt. Instead of watching a movie or reading a book I would lay in bed and try to take account of every single bite of food I put in my mouth. I would bite lip, cry, pray, and promise myself that I would do better the next day. Those nights were the ones that weren’t so bad. The worst ones where the nights when I would forget to count something in. A donut, a cupcake, a grilled cheese, something would wake me up from a deep sleep and shock me into reality that maybe my “good day” wasn’t really that good at all.

It took me a long time to learn balance and some days I still truly have none. I did this through connecting with others who have the same thoughts and feelings that I do about weight, body, and food and talking this out. We formed a ring of support; we have come up with plans and ideas. We have conference called one another in moments of food despair. Most importantly, we have softened each other’s hearts towards the feelings we have for ourselves.

Learning that there was life beyond the diet was incredible for me. Learning to listen to my body was a very slow process, but as I kept going it was easier than I thought. On days I’m tired, I go for a walk, on days I feel strong I go do a full body sweaty workout, when I’m hungry I eat, when I’m not then I don’t. Sometimes I’m satisfied with a half of a cookie, sometimes it takes three.

Go to the picnic, the party, or most importantly that first date you know you’re afraid to go on because you’re afraid to order dinner in front of him/her (yep, done that too… wonder what ever happened to those guys haha) because this is life, not a prison sentence we feel we need to serve to our bodies.

Laugh, smile, enjoy the moment and the company around you and eat the fucking cupcake.

Happy Motivational Monday!

Skinny and unhealthy

Sexy and strong

I always thought that I were just skinny, everything else in my life would be perfect.

I would make more money, have an A-list relationship, everyone would like me, I would look a magazine cover and be the happiest girl in the world.

Well let me tell you how that worked out.

The picture you see on the top was the skinniest I’d ever been. I couldn’t believe that I could walk around finally and feel like a normal person in the world (stupid, right?). I was rocking a size small, doing marathon sized workouts every day and eating at most six hundred calories a day. I was starving. I was on the verge of tears (but it’s okay because it was just because I was tired), I couldn’t sleep because I was so insanely hungry, I lived and died by the scale number – sometimes weighing in multiple times a day, only eating if I felt like the daily loss was big enough.

Wow, if that doesn’t look like happiness to you, I don’t know what does?

I hated my life. I liked my body, but I hated my life, and needless to say, that was evident in my change of personality.

I can also say that same personality change was noticeable when I packed the weight back on and found myself unhealthy on the other side of things.

How did I find balance?

Well, first things first, my beautiful friend and life coach Carey tried for years to get me to ditch the scale. My response was always, “well how will I know what I am?”

My value was in my number. My number! My number was the only thing I used to define me!

Your number and my number mean nothing. It is your relationship to gravity.

It took me about four years to finally do it, but I ditched the scale and hold my value to a remarkable standard of character, kindness, and happiness.

I also started listening to my body. I started to incorporate foods I actually wanted and enjoyed them. I eat cake, pizza, and tacos, as much as I eat quinoa, spinach and fish. I don’t schedule it out, I listen to what my body tells me in the moment. I know that if I binge there will be an emotional result in my future so I eat until I’ve satisfied my cravings and move on.

It’s okay to talk about our food, relationships, or just general life issues openly because once we do that, the right support system will gravitate your way. You will realize that you’re not alone in any of these issues because most of us struggle in silence.

As some of you know, I attend a program that makes me account for my number ever week.

I ask not to know it. I don’t look at my statistical information. I use my peers as my support when I feel like I’d rather not eat that day or purge a binge that never actually happened.

I now use my knowledge of what it feels like to have lived a life of food disorders to help others. I love it. I now realize that all those life lessons were thrown my way with a purpose.

My focused has shifted from skinny to sexy and sexy is not a number for me.

Sexy is healthy, strong, confident, kind, grateful and so much more.

Don’t forget, if you don’t like kale, don’t eat it, and if you want the slice of chocolate cake eat it somewhere where you can savor every last bite (not over the kitchen sink).

Happy Transformation Tuesday!

Feeling sexy at any size may SEEM like it has its challenges, but there are a few simple rules to help smooth out the process.

Fist Rule:

Never dress to impress anyone else! You have to feel sexy and empowered on your own and if you're worried about getting someone else's attention based on the clothes you wear, you'll never know what it feels like to feel absolutely unstoppable.

Second Rule:

Dress for the body you have right now- NOT the body you used to have and NOT the body you want to have. Make sure that the clothes you have fit and feel comfortable. That dress you're dying to squeeze back into? Chuck it in the fuck it bucket. You don't need to put that pressure on yourself. Keeping those "fat pants" to remember the days you never want to get back to? Ditch them. We are hard enough on ourselves every day. We don't need a dress three sizes too small or pants that we now swim in to be a constant reminder of bad body image.

Third Rule:

Who cares about size. If you find something you like on the rack, bring in ALL the sizes. Don't look at the tags when you try them on and pick the one that fits your body the best. Between my jeans, dresses, workout clothes, I wear about six different sizes at one time. Who cares. What matters is that it fits and you feel amazing.

Fourth Rule:

Stay in your expense lane! If it is going to break the bank and make you stress, don't do it. If it is a budget friendly find then take the extra cash and get an iced coffee. Some of my most amazing outfits are the least expensive in my closet and the compliments are endless.

DON'T FORGET, sexy and confidence come from within your head and your heart. Rock what you're wearing, may it be a sexy dinner date outfit, ripped jeans and white T, or (in my current state) the coziest joggers and a tank top. It is most important to feel comfortable, smile, and enjoy the moment that you're in and the clothes you wear while you're in it!

Happy Friday, Love G

Let's just start by saying, when I cook (or in this case assemble), I don't measure, I taste... baking is a whole different story, but I'll do my best!

Summer Grain Salad with Lemon Herb Dressing

2c of any cooked grain of choice- I used a mix of brown rice and red quinoa- you can find these premade pretty easily but rule of thumb is 2/1 water to grain, bring to a boil and then simmer, covered for 20 min and the fluff with a fork

1c garbanzo beans, chopped tomatoes, chopped cucumber

1/2c walnuts, feta, chopped shallots

This recipe is really subjective to taste, adding some yellow peppers or sprouts would be AMAZING- so add whatever vegetable you'd like.

Instructions: Put it all in a bowl... easy peasy lemon squeezy (you'll need that lemon juice)

Lemon Herb Dressing

2T Extra Virgin olive oil

4T fresh lemon juice

1tsp fresh basil

1tsp fresh tarragon

1tsp fresh dill

salt and pepper to taste

stir with a fork, pour over your grain salad

 and toss!

Best served chilled... an hour in the fridge will do the trick!

Great as a side dish, a main dish, or for breakfast with a friend egg!

Keep it simple and snack your way through this one because every ingredient is clean and whole!

Enjoy!

Be impeccable with your words because they will change your future.

As much as we try to apologize, as much as we try to back pedal, the words we speak imprint on the people we speak them to. That also rings true for the words we speak to ourselves.

If your best friend showed up to the beach wearing a bikini would you say things like, “I can’t believe you’re wearing that? Look at your stretch marks! Your thighs are huge!”

Well you could, but I guarantee they won’t be your friend for long, but I’m willing to bet that you don’t. You accept them for the body they live in. So why don't you do it for yourself?

I spent years avoiding things like bathing suits, social gatherings, and pictures because I couldn’t accept the skin I was in. It’s so much easier to overlook the negative things we say to ourselves versus the negative things people say about us even though it should be our feelings that matter the most.

For a long time I was hung up on the things people would say to me or about me. I have had comments made about the food I was eating, the clothes I was wearing, and my body by not only people I knew, but by absolute strangers (and that hurt more, you don’t even know me but you feel entitled to make a negative comment about my body???). I hung onto those words for years. Meanwhile, I could say those same things about myself on the regular and overlook it. No one ever bullied me worse than I bullied myself.

Messed up, right? Yep, until I made a conscious effort to turn that around and now the positivity just flows and the self-love feels glorious.

Try looking in the mirror and talking to yourself as though you were talking to someone who you truly care about. You will find a much kinder, gentler, and accepting person in the reflection.

You’re nobody till somebody loves you? Take a hike Dean Martin.

Once you learn to love yourself, you become unstoppable, you become bulletproof, you become beautiful.

Happy Motivational Monday!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, 'damn, I look as sexy as chocolate cake."

No? Well you should, and here's why.

Let's start from the beginning, in a nutshell of course.

I have struggled with negative body image, self destructive eating disorders, and a general hatred for everything down to my eye color for as long as I can remember.  I have put my physical and emotional health at risk by trying to fit my square peg into the world's round hole.

Then life started the change. I started to change. I woke up one day and was just done. I was done conforming to the image I thought I needed to be. I started building the life that I truly deserve to be happy. Ever since that day my life has been different. 

Where did I find myself? Moving home with my parents at thirty-four years old with my two kids and my dog. I am an only child and a first generation American on my father's side. Just picture it, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Italian style. Yep, that's my life. And I've never been happier.

It's funny how a little thing like happiness can change a big thing like life.

Ever since I changed my mindset, all of my stars have started to align. 

Mind you, I have moments when I let fear of the unknown creep back in, but my amazing Vibe Tribe (the best friends on the planet) are always there to get me through and they empower me to do the same for others. 

Let's get back to the body part, since that's what got this party started.

I started working with a health coach (who is now one of my best friends) about five years ago. Yes, it took four years and six months for it to really sink in, but that's okay because I had to get there on my own terms. 

I went from waking up every day, staring in the mirror and picking my body apart, to waking up every day, staring into the mirror amazed at what my strong, curvy, beautiful body is able to accomplish. 

That doesn't just come from food and exercise though. That comes from general happiness on all fronts and that is what this blog is all about. 

It's about finding your sexy, in your soul, your body, and your chocolate cake. 

Welcome!